friendliness toward the happy

Yoga requires a peaceful mind. There are many ways to get there, but Sri Swami suggests this being numero uno:

"[cultivate] attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and disregard toward the wicked." (Book One, Sutra 33)

This is the first of a few blog posts to address this. The first is friendliness toward the happy.

You know how sometimes you see someone really happy, and you just want to crush their happiness? OK, maybe not crush, but you aren't happy for them because you wish you were in their position. You make up reasons for why their happiness came to them. The truth is, you don't really know what the deal is. You aren't that person. That person might be practicing the things that you should practice. The following are some things you may have thought that honestly I have either thought or heard someone say, with suggestions on how to look at it differently.

Money
"Well didn't they run into some good luck."
"Mommy and Daddy pay for everything."
"They were brought up in a privileged family."
"Trust fund baby."
"They don't know what it is like to be in debt."

Try "They must have worked really hard to get that! I will work hard and hope to get that some day too." Congratulate them, celebrate their success.

Body image
"They were blessed with a high metabolism."
"They can afford a gym membership."
"I could never be that skinny."
"I don't want to give up the foods and drinks I love to look like that."
"They hardly eat anything."
"Ugh they look so much better than me."

Try "They look really great. I wonder what I could learn about their lifestyle to improve mine." Pay that person a a compliment.

Relationships
"He/She just got out of a relationship, now he/she is in another one?"
"I can't believe how fast they fell in love, there's no way it's real."
"How can she love him/ how can he love her?"
"They'll never last!"
"One treats the other way better."

Try "They look so happy together! One day I will have find a love like that. As long as they are both happy, I hope it lasts." Spend some time with them, gain insight into their happiness.

Why not be friendly toward the happy? Selflessly you make them happy, but selfishly that will make you happy too. When you are happy, you can make other people happy. So next time one of those jealous thoughts comes to mind, do everything you can to dismiss the ill feelings and think, or even say, something positive.